Who's On First?

Although we'd love to take credit for this, it was sent to us by an anonymous source. Whoever he is, he deserves a Pulitzer for the best summary of the Rove-Plame mess we've read:

Karl Rove: I didn't have anything to do with the leak about Mr. Wilson's wife.

George Bush: I will fire anyone that contributed to the leak about Mr. Wilson's wife.

Karl Rove's Attorney: Karl Rove did not mention Mr. Wilson's wife by her name.

Karl Rove: I learned about Mr. Wilson's wife from the media.

Karl Rove's Attorney: Mr. Rove is not guilty of any crime. He did not know Mr. Wilson's wife. He did not know her name. Therefore, he could not have leaked her name.

Karl Rove: I have not been convicted of any crime. I don't know any crimes. Therefore, I can't committ any crimes. If I don't know any crimes, I can't be convicted of any crimes.

George Bush: I will fire anyone convicted of crime. Crime is a conviction that is required with a crime.

Karl Rove's Lawyer: Even if the grand jury brings an indictment against my honorable client, that is not the same as being convicted of a crime. It represents the finest example of the finest justise system in the world.

Karl Rove: I didn't know Mr. Wilson was living with his wife when I named her to the entire White House Press corps.

George Bush: I know Karl Rove. I have been knowing him for a long time. It's been a long time since he's been fired for leaking in the wrong place at the wrong time. This time, like a long time ago, when I knew Karl Rove, by his name, his leaking isn't a crime. It wasn't done in the public arena or outside the arena where leaking is done. But, if the grand jury does its patriotic duty the way grand juries do duties, well, I can't comment on their duties until they've done them.

Karl Rove's Attorney: This is a matter for a jury of his peers not for the Liberal biased media.

Karl Rove: I know all my peers but I can't name them right now because some of them have wives and girlfriends. But, I don't know their girlfriends' names.

George Bush: We haven't exhausted all appeals yet, and appeals are exhausting. Until we're exhausted, and even then, we won't be where we should be to talk about this.

Karl Rove's Attorney: No, I was not in the movie Legally Blonde.

George Bush: In the best interests of our country, which is a very interesting country, I signed a pardon today for Karl Rove and his attorney. I can't fire anyone with a pardon. Pardons do that you know. They stop things like going to jail.