Monday, December 05, 2005

John Derbyshire: No Woman Over 20 Is Worth Seeing in the Nude

Derbyshire at the National Review on Jennifer Aniston's "unsupported bust":

Did I buy, or browse, a copy of the November 17 GQ, in order to get a look at Jennifer Aniston's bristols?** No, I didn't. While I have no doubt that Ms. Aniston is a paragon of charm, wit, and intelligence, she is also 36 years old. Even with the strenuous body-hardening exercise routines now compulsory for movie stars, at age 36 the forces of nature have won out over the view-worthiness of the unsupported female bust.

It is, in fact, a sad truth about human life that beyond our salad days, very few of us are interesting to look at in the buff. Added to that sadness is the very unfair truth that a woman's salad days are shorter than a man's — really, in this precise context, only from about 15 to 20. The Nautilus and the treadmill can add a half decade or so, but by 36 the bloom is definitely off the rose.

** Bristols. Cockney rhyming slang. There is a well-known soccer team in England named Bristol City.
The evidence (we can't seem to find scans of the GQ pics--which are sublime--at Google. Please leave links in the comments if you've got 'em):
So not only is he dead wrong, there is the bigotry that borders on pedophilia in his statement that women's "salad days" are over at 20. We think it perfectly captures the conservative's sentiment: "Unless we've lost some war--and last tahm Ah checked, we hadn't--there is no reason why we should be looking any model who is a day over 18." This explains, among other things, the preponderance of "WE BARE ALL" and "CAFE RISQUE NUDES" along the side of interstate highways down South where 16 year old trailer park girls jiggle it for lecherous-looking Congressmen.

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