Championship Eating

Or, cramming junk food into your maw for sport. Salon discusses competitive eating with Ryan Nerz, author of Eat this Book: The Gorging and the Glory of the Competitive Eating Circut, which argues that thin people can eat more in one sitting than fat people because the blubber prevents the stomach from distending and reveals that back-stage vomiting is really more common than the competitors want to admit. Most interesting revelation: Hot dogs are the hardest to cram--the buns take up lots of space in your mouth and the salt in the meat pulls water into your stomach, filling you quickly.

We are reminded of the Austin Spamarama, where half a dozen guys (and a girl, too) raced to see who could cram the most Spam in 1 minute. This apparently qualifies as an Olympic event in the Republic of Texas... But before we go bashing the Texans too much, we'll confess to owning a book of Spam-themed Haiku by Boston-area Spam lovers. For example:

Perfection uncanned,
Like a beautiful redhead
Fresh from her trailer.

Even in Boston, Spam doesn't lose its white trash authenticity.